Honesty and It's Beauty

           My patients are beautiful people. People are beautiful people. You are a beautiful person. We are flawed, but we are all beautifully trying to do what is best.
           This blog is certified parental bragging rights on my patients. They are rock stars. And here is why: They are not afraid of touching their own pain. They are not afraid of life's beautiful and messy honesty.
           In a world where we hide from the most vulnerable pieces of ourselves, it is hard to sometimes get in touch with who we are and where we came from. We all have things that we want to change about ourselves. We all have things that we wish were different.
           Most observe these pieces as flaws. They view them as something they are running away from. Maybe these pieces are insecurities, not being enough of, not being the BEST, or the CEO, or the PTA president, or the person who got the raise at work. They weigh on us, and they take us down.
           So we have choices with these insecurities. We let them define who we are, are perception of ourselves, or we pretend that they do not exist. We fight against them and become blind to them.
           Blindness is ignorance. You are not bold when you ignore something. You are not strong when you ignore your own needs. You are not changing and molding into who you beautifully were made to be if you are blind to pieces of who you are.
           Insecurities can block you from becoming the person you're meant to beautifully stand up and be. So here is why my patients are rock stars: They wrestle with these insecurities in front of another human (that is brave stuff). They honestly wave their flags of imperfection in front of me. And they express their world, that inner part that most are afraid to let others know is even there.
           My patients talk about the fight for freedom of their own insecurities, they get another team mate on their side (me) in the battle, and they come out of the darkness with honesty. They touch their pain. They feel it, and they let it go. In front of another person.
           This, my friends, is beautiful. Because it is truth, it is real, and it is honest. My hope for everyone is that they have a place to be beautifully honest in a world that tries to rid us of anything but perfection. (Which by the way, is an absolutely unattainable goal). Get up, go, be honest, and be beautiful.

Shine on,

Dr. Kate

Dr. Kate Cummins is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based out of Los Angeles, California. I am now accepting new patients in my private practice and through Skype (telehealth). Please look at my website, www.drkatecummins.com and contact me with any questions you may have (424)488-9973 or drkatecummins@gmail.com. This information is meant for education and knowledge expansion. This blog post is not a form of mental health treatment or individual clinical work.

I'm Throwing a Party and Here's Why You Should Come

           I'm throwing a party next Thursday, July 23rd, in El Segundo. I'm inviting all moms in the greater Los Angeles area to come hang out with me. I'm throwing a party, and here's why you should come: I am exhausted by the way that my profession has made itself a quiet and hidden place on a map in our community. 
           The stigma that taking care of your mental health has in our current culture is one that makes it a shame-based perception of needing help. My patients come to me hanging onto their last resort, their last glimpse of hope, their final "I can't do this anymore." So I'm throwing a party.
           Every. Single. Person. Walking around on this planet deals with stress. Every single person on this planet has dealt with loss. Every single person has dealt with change. When a patient finally picks up the phone to call me, when they finally hit my doorstep, their own thoughts and behaviors have almost, almost won. 
           As women, we are stretched thin. In practice I see women who are so fragile from loss of sense-of-self and loss of engagement with others that they can barely leave the house in fear of their anxiety creeping in. I see women who feel so sad that they can't possibly think about showing up to events, dinners, things they used to enjoy, because it's all too hard. I see women of all ages, who need to feel needed and wanted and included. So you are included. And I want you to come to my party.
           I am over all of this. I'm throwing a party, because mental health is just as or more important than shopping at organic food places, working out regularly, attending church or yoga to get your soul fed. I am throwing a party so that mom's can come together, dress themselves up in beautiful clothing that makes them feel good about their appearance, and sit down without responsibility for a few hours. I am inviting you, because I don't want you to feel alone anymore. And I want to make this piece of your life fun. And I want to think outside of the box so that by the time you find yourself with a child who is externalizing such difficult symptoms that you don't know what to do with, you don't feel alone.
           I'm throwing a party for moms, so that they have a place to feel lovely. And not alone. And to know that they have support because they are doing their best. And so, I'm throwing a party for you. And your friends. All are invited. And food and drinks will be there. And we want to see you. We want to celebrate you. So I'm throwing a party. Hope to see you next Thursday. Oh, and RSVP so we know how many moonshine cocktails, coffees, wine, and appetizers to purchase for you!- drkatecumminsevents.eventbrite.com

Shine On,

Dr. Kate

Be Have Your (Behavior- Get Movin)

         Happy Friday to you. Did you read that out loud? BeHave Your. Behavior. Have you thought about that word in this way? Behavior, it’s all yours. Have your own way with your behavior. Have your own way with what you do with your time, who you chat with, and what you want to do in life. 

Remember when your mom or dad used to say, “Your behavior is out of control” or “Thank you for your exceptional behavior” (Or maybe just the first one. ;)

           Your parents talked to you about the choices that you made with your body, what you did with it, where you took it, how many toys your picked up, and how many times you pushed your sister in the carseat next to you. And you listened to them talk to you about your behavior. Because it didn't feel like you could control it as a child, but now you’re all grown up and you see that you can.

           A lot of times, when someone is having low self-esteem, depressive symptoms such as sleeping too much or anhedonia (lack of pleasure in typical activities), anxious preoccupation, stress in the work place, lack of connection in a relationship (the list goes on and on) it’s because they aren’t engaging in the right behavior that makes them feel good. In private practice, my patients are typically asked in this scenario to force his or her self out the door for a social engagement or physical activity during this time. Why? To have YOUR own way with your body. And to show that you have your own behavior in control. 

           This is called behavioral activation. In private practice, I tailor it to the individual persons likes and needs. In the hospital setting, I typically tailor it to what we can get out a result of their brain injury.

Sometimes, there are voices within you that make you think, “I can’t leave the house” or “I really don’t want to go to the gym” or “The thought of putting my three children in their carseats to leave is just not a happy place”. 

           But 9.9 times out of 10, if you BeHave Your own way, and you make yourself pop up and go, you never regret it. It makes you feel good, it sends those amazing drugs called neurotransmitters flowing in the right places, and you can relax just a little. BeHave Your. Do it your way this weekend.

Shine on,

Dr. Kate

Dr. Kate Cummins is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based out of Los Angeles, California. I am now accepting new patients in my private practice and through Skype (telehealth). Please look at my website, www.drkatecummins.com and contact me with any questions you may have (424)488-9973 or drkatecummins@gmail.com. This information is meant for education and knowledge expansion. This blog post is not a form of mental health treatment or individual clinical work.

Family Relationships Are Nuts

           We are naturally very needy creatures. If you look at the evolution of a person, one starts manipulating its world from the minute he or she is born. A baby cries to get what it needs, to get held, fed, a new diaper, comforted, loved, etc. A baby cries, and we all stop, immediately, to hold it. 

           Believe it or not, relationships with adults are essentially the same concept. Adults use their words, actions, choices, and behaviors to drive communication and interaction with others, to get what they want. Babies, we are all just babies at the end of the day.

           We need things from one another, like trust, loyalty, help, affection, support, and whatever else you may need from those around you that you love. And when you don’t get these things the way you want or you don’t get enough, life becomes a little messy.

           The reason I post this blog post today is because we are walking into a weekend full of family time. Familial relationships are the ones we don’t get to pick. So sometimes they push us in places we don’t want to be pushed, just because they can. 

           If you find yourself at that family barbecue and Aunt Susie is driving you crazy, take a step back, find your happy place within, and disengage from the relationship. She may or may not mean to, but she is driving you to the place that makes you want to walk away from the screaming baby. 

           Embrace the relationships, the good and the bad, but know that you can monitor yourself. Choose to go pick the baby up or run from the situation. And enjoy your weekend with people who love you. Happy 4th of July y’all. 

Shine On,

Dr. Kate

Dr. Kate Cummins is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based out of Los Angeles, California. I am now accepting new patients in my private practice and through Skype (telehealth). Please look at my website, www.drkatecummins.com and contact me with any questions you may have (424)488-9973 or drkatecummins@gmail.com. This information is meant for education and knowledge expansion. This blog post is not a form of mental health treatment or individual clinical work.